hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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