I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize