ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
