There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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