why didn't you poke me back
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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