i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
