So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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