Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
