billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
