I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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