he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
