let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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