yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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