Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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