lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
