you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
