Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
