I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can I color on your dick again?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
