Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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