Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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