i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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