butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
