So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
