I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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