I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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