Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
