Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
