belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
