Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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