Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
