GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
