she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
