He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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