do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
