Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
