My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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