all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
