Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
