Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
