You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
