i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
