Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
