Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
