Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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