u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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