You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
