He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
