You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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