Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
