You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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