I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
