Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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