"it" just moved
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
