your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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