did you get engaged???
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
