I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
