When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
