With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
