ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
