I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
